Corn Flakes Kill Rats (and humans, it must be inferred)

Today's blog is written by the me that gets Very Peeved over What The Public Is Led To Believe vs. The Truth. I'm actually not going to write a blog, but rather refer you to this GREAT ARTICLE by Sally Fallon all about how unreleased research proved in the 1960's that cardboard will sustain life longer than Corn Flakes. Happy reading!

Also worth checking out is an article at Mercola.com on 8 Drugs Doctors Would Never Take (but would be perfectly happy to prescribe to you). Mercola's comments below the article are the real punchline, of course.

Seven Shades of Beige

If I had a good story line, I'd write a novel set in suburban Southern California, and call it Seven Shades of Beige. That's actually the phrase I use to describe all new housing developments that go up around here. Excuse me, new Communities. Because we no longer buy into a development or a neighborhood or buy a house on a certain street, or a house in a certain area; we buy a new house in a Community. (You and your neighbors will never get to know each other because your new Community has 7 foot fences separating the yards, but that's beside the point.) Your new Community offers you choice of one of 5 different models painted one of seven shades of beige. Your 2,000 plus square foot house is on a 4,000 square foot lot, because you and your kids don't go outside anymore, and the space is more useful indoors where you need room for an office, a living room and a den, plus a media room.

I'm probably just hyper-critical, or maybe obsessed with color, or nostalgic for the good old days when a new neighborhood had houses in green, yellow, white and blue, and the neighbors came over to meet you and the kids were outside on bikes and skateboards. I dunno. All I know for sure is that I hate driving down the street and seeing a mass of new houses built and painted to look as if they're supposed to blend in with the dried up summer grass on the hills. Why do people want to buy houses that look so nondescript? Do they not notice, or not care, or do they like it that way? Do they move to beige neighborhoods intentionally?

I can't exactly say I'm living in my dream house (you can find pictures of my dream house HERE ). A little over a year ago we bought our first house: a pale yellow 1950's California Ticky Tacky in need of fresh paint and personalizing. It doesn't stand out as anything extraordinary... yet... but at least every house on our street looks unique. We have an orange house next door and a pink house across the street. There might even be a couple of shades of beige on our street. It doesn't hurt my eyes to look at them, though, because they don't look like part of a desert camouflage unit; they're unique to the other houses around here.

I've always had a problem with uniformity. I hate graduation pictures for the same reason. Everybody in the same cap and gown, like a sea of red with touches of gold (in the case of my high school colors). Nothing stands out as special. My eyes blur over when I try to look through them, and I flip through those pages of the photo album quickly to get some relief.

Maybe one day I'll move into one of those new communities - buy a big beige house with a tiny yard and a 3 car garage and nazi-like yard care rules. If I do, though, I'll be sure to paint it fluorescent green with pink trim. Maybe I'll even get to know the neighbors and lead them in a color revolt.

Barbie Nudist Colony

There's a nudist colony in my living room. I estimate there are 13 or 14 nekkid women, and 3 or 4 nekkid men. I really haven't kept track, and honestly I don't want to get close enough to investigate. Some of the nudists are driving around nekkid in a mini-van and others are in a pink VW Beetle. Some are sitting stiff-legged and straight-backed in a semi-circle. Some have been decapitated, and others are missing a limb or two. A few unfortunates are missing all appendages. All are stark nekkid.

Why is it that Barbie and Ken dolls come into our lives fully clothed and accessorized, sometimes in fabulous princess costumes with high heel shoes and tiara, or cool surfer-dude board shorts, but they never remain that way? In the box of Barbie accessories there must be two dozen sets of clothes. Why do Barbies and Kens refuse to keep their duds on? Why are they all nudists? Summer or winter, they are nudists. WHY? This is a great mystery of life, and one of the questions I plan to ask God when we've gotten the joyful reunion and other more important items out of the way.

I should add that Barbies aren't the only dolls around here that are forced to live nekkid, but they are most noticeable, probably because they congregate in large groups in the living room. All the baby dolls are also nekkid. Pretty much any doll in this house that comes with removable clothes is nekkid. I have come to really appreciate dolls with cloth torsos that can't be removed. And Raggedy Ann and Andy, who have their clothing sewn on.

So you're probably now wondering what kind of twisted household my children live in, and whether or not we all just run around here nekkid day in and day out. You can rest easy on that one. While nudism may have its nice points for some, we practice clothesism here. Maybe it's just that an eight year old and a four year old are still young enough to remember how free they feel without the constraint of clothing and they want their Barbies to enjoy that same freedom.