Too Funny To Miss

If you have any sense of personal freedom combined with even a slight enjoyment of irony, you'll love this satirical article on Homefeeding.

Here's a picture of one of my homefed kids enjoying a raspberry smoothie. Yes, I know - this is dangerously subversive behavior.


HOMEFEEDING children: Threat or menace?
CNSNews.com | June 12, 2002 | Lydia McGrew

(The following editorial originally appeared in the June 6 edition of the Midwestburg Courier-Gazette.)

The recent tragic death from malnutrition of seven-year-old Johnny Marfan of Bensonville draws our attention to the growing trend toward so-called "homefeeding."

While the majority of the local children still receive their nutrition from state cafeterias or approved, registered private cafeterias, a growing minority of parents - hundreds by some estimates - are engaged in homefeeding, a practice in which children receive at least breakfast and dinner in their own homes as provided by their parents.

In accordance with law, the Marfans informed the state health department that they were homefeeding Johnny. But in this state, homefeeding is relatively unregulated, giving carte blanch to parents to feed their children virtually any food under the sun; meat, milk, cookies, butter, pie - anything goes.

Some states require parents to have a certified degree in nutrition or at least be monitored by an accredited nutritionist. But here, parents do not even have to fill out periodic reports detailing what they are feeding their children.

Opponents of homefeeding argue that parents like the Marfans used homefeeding as a cover for abuse and neglect, with terrible results. While this remains in question, we've seen nothing to disprove this.

Calista Nicole-Carson of the state Department of Cafeterias and Caloric Monitoring says, "I realize that there are conscientious parents who genuinely try to feed their children what they need. But they should have no objection to filling out the forms we are introducing, describing each of the meals they give."

That seems a reasonable step in safeguarding our most precious resource - our children. "Pro-active steps are necessary to insure we are protecting all children," says Nicole-Carson. "It is ridiculous not to monitor what all children are fed because of a misguided concern for 'privacy' or 'freedom,' and such lack of regulation allows children to slip fatally through the cracks."

Other critics are concerned about parents' lack of necessary qualifications. "Every year we make new nutritional discoveries," says Dr. Sue d'Panzoff of the University of Omasota. "Parents cannot possibly keep up with each breakthrough in nutritional science and give their children these benefits."

It's preposterous for us to leave such vital functions to amateurs who claim authority based on something as flimsy as parenthood, particularly in the realm of keeping pace with nutritional advances.

"Who knows what changes we may need to make next year to improve children's nutrition," asks d'Panzoff. "At a minimum, homefeeding programs must be carefully monitored in the domicile to make sure all the latest advances are represented."

Still others point out the social skills homefed children are missing. Ms. Nicole-Carson tells us, "During meals at the public cafeterias, these children watch educational videos about crucial subjects like the environment, sex, and the evils of capitalism. The food itself is culturally diversified, and each day the children are taught a different set of table manners from another culture around the world."

Homefeeders rely in large part on outmoded history in defending their decision to place their own children out of the mainstream.

"As recently as 1992, the majority of children in the United States were homefed," says Philip Flicka, of the right-wing Home Food Legal Defense Association. "Even when kids went to school, they were allowed to bring lunches packed by their moms."

Whether Mr. Flicka is right or not, it seems that homefeeding is here to stay, consequences be damned. But we cannot be too vigilant. Homefeeders of good will should, as Ms. Nicole-Carson says, be entirely open to having their homes and programs monitored by qualified nutritionists for the good of our children.

Any small amount of time and privacy this costs parents will be more than repaid in lives saved. If the Marfans had been properly monitored, Johnny would still be alive.

There is nothing more valuable than the life and safety of a child, and for that reason, strictures on homefeeding must be tightened in this state.

Copyright 2002, the Midwestburg Courier-Gazette. Used with permission.

Life Gives Us A Thrashing

Note: this entry was written several months back and the story is incomplete. More to come soon.

Next note: no, this isn't an actual photo of our crashed vehicle. Rather, it is a symbol of what life felt like around here for a good, long while after Dave's accident.


I guess flexibility is key in life. It's either that or frustration, which I've experienced plenty of in my more inflexible moments. Especially this past year 'n a quarter or so. "Let go and let God" is taking on meaning for me, probably because I've had little to no control over the events of the past 15 months. For me, trying to make everything right has resulted in a lot of stress.

I used to be semi-immune to stress. It's not that hard to ignore stress - you just think about something else. Read a good book or go do something fun. In college there were times I failed or did very poorly on tests because I didn't want the stress of preparing for them or thinking about my grade. You could say I chose to disassociate from the consequences of things rather than face them. I preferred to live a carefree and free flowing existence, and most of the time that worked out for me. I'm a little amazed that I've lived for 41 years without learning some crucial life skills like self-discipline and time management.

About a year and two weeks ago, my husband was in an accident that has had far-reaching results. He was driving our mini-van on the freeway at about 55 mph when a guy in large pickup hit him from behind going at least 90 mph. How the guy didn't see the van in front of him, I'll never know. The van was totaled and DH had the kinds of back and neck injuries you'd expect from that type of collision. Nothing broken, but lots of chiropractic care needed. We figured it would take time, but that he would recover and be able to get back to work soon. His employer was very understanding, and he was allowed to do his work as a software developer from home.

However, about 6 weeks after the accident, he became very sick. He began throwing up violently every time he tried to eat. His esophagus swelled up, he got sores in his mouth, his stomach was like a ball of fire, his colon was in agony. For a month he ate nothing but watermelon, because that was the one thing that he could get past his throat and keep down. He lost around 60 pounds. The chiropractor assured us that this can be a normal result of an accident due to stress, pain and nerves being pinched and pulled due to spinal misalignment. DH began to see a gastroenterologist, who performed a number of invasive tests on him and diagnosed him with esophagitus, gastritis, hiatal hernia, reflux and colitis. He gave Dave some pills that, when we looked them up, predicted potential cancer and other risks greater than what Dave was already going through. So he declined, and we went on a search for natural remedies - diet, supplements, natural therapies, etc.

All this while DH was trying to work from home, and even tried to go back in to work. He no longer had the physical strength to do so, and would become even more stressed and ill and broken while trying to force himself. His physical pain was too great and he had lost the ability to concentrate and keep focus on anything. After nearly a year of patiently working around DH's issues, his company finally let him go. I think they deserve to be sainted for their kindness in giving him so much time and flexibility. Thank you, former employer!

Meanwhile I was researching all kinds of potential therapies and diets and such, many of which we have worked with this past year. Also, God sent us a perfect angel to help us - a lovely woman in another state who went through something very similar - a bad accident followed by complete bodily malfunction - and had spent years learning to overcome her accident injuries and the resulting illnesses. She has not only given us very wise and practical advice to follow for healing, but has even sent us some of the essentials that we couldn't afford to buy on DH's disability pay.